The One Leadership Secret You Can’t Ignore

Last Updated: Dec 5, 2013
Sets and disappointments are inevit in business. It’s how you respond to them that makes a difference in how much they impa you. Here are five things you can do to see immediate improvement in how you deal with sets.

I talk about twenty core Leadership Secrets in my executive coaching, speaking and writing.  But if someone asked me to name only one that can make an immediate impa, I would pick the behaviors to counter sets.

All of us have had (and will continue to have) some professional sets prospes ing off at the last moment after a seemingly agree interaion, clients refusing to renew, etc.  While these examples are very specific to my situation, we all face “sets” frequently as we strive to achieve our transformational goals.  It may be in our personal or professional lives, but sets and obstacles are here to stay with us.  How does an effeive leader rea and respond to sets?  While I can’t say that I am totally immune to the vagaries of rejeion and sets, here are five simple and quick daily praices I use that have helped me and can help you as well:

# 1 Budget discrete for disappointment While I believe in positive psychology, I don’t really believe in ignoring reality.  I acknowledge the sinking feeling I get in my stomach when negative events occur!  I know that it will make me feel discouraged and disappointed.  What I have taught (and am constantly teaching) myself is to put a discrete line in my mind and tell myself that I will stop ruminating over the event after that arbitrary limit.  Where you set that limit is up to you.  The sooner the better, obviously.  But you’ll get better at it as you praice this behavior.

Related: How to Get Over Past Mistakes

# 2 Go to your Personal Mission Statement The personal mission statement is one of my centering tools, and I especially go to it when I have sets.  Do the “s” still hold true?  Am I doing what I am doing for the right ?  Do they align with my personal and professional themes for the year/future?  This exercise serves to firm up my spine and point me in the direion I should head.  Do you have a personal mission statement?

# 3 Rapidly accelerate  I shift up my “MPH,” my “magnificent performance horsepower” to a different gear and focus intensely on my aivity s. I have found that nothing accelerates outcomes better than positive aion. The after a set is the second-best to accelerate (the best being when you succeed, more about that in a future chapter), so focus on aion more than ever before.  It is quite common to have doubts, of course, especially after a set, which is it is important to have a framework for aion. I prefer to praice a weekly leadership ritual that gives me a discrete foundation for aion.  What about you?

# 4 Find and finish  I pick an outcome in a space that I have influence over (current proje, personal proje, personal life) and finish it!  It is important to me at this point to gain the feeling of achievement and credibility I get by successfully getting to a not outcome.  This is also the to go after that one aivity you have been procrastinating about.  The best way to build your core up is based on achievement and credibility.

# 5 Finally, surround yourself with the right people This is exaly the wrong to hang around people who don’t understand your goals and vision.  Unfortunately, many of those whom you consider close may fall into this category.  It is simply best not to solicit any feed from folks who say things like, “Well, it was always going to be tough to do that,” or “This is I didn’t try to do that I could have if I wanted to,” or the best one of them all “I told you so!!!”  Understand that you don’t have to rea to this unsolicited feed.  Praice the art of seleive hearing!  It is very important to seek support from a group of people who are positively inclined and are striving toward transformation just as you are.

Vinay Nadig is the author of Leadership IS for Everyone: 20 Leadership Secrets for Exceptional Outcomes and Fulfillment at Work. He has had a 20+ year career as a consultant, entrepreneur and a business unit head in the manufauring, , retail, technology and airline seors seors, consulting with several large Fortune 500 organizations. For more information, please visit, and