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3 posts since

23 Jan 2021

Hello everyone 

hope your all ok.

I was 39 and I got diagnosed with breast cancer I never ever checked. When I found the lump I was straight on the phone to the doctors and got a appointment. The doctor checked me and said he wanted me to go the breast clinic and get checked ,within two weeks I was there and had a mammogram a scan and a biopsy. Three days later my life came tumbling down abs was told I had stage two breast cancer and gone to my lymnodes.-not sure if I spelt that right. I then had appointment after appointment. Started chemo six rounds then I had my breast off then started radiotherapy. Got the all clear and yeah everything should be ok but it’s not. But that’s me and my confidence and I’m sure I will get there.

anyway was wondering if there is anyone out there that would like to chat as friends for now and see where it went.

5710 posts since

15 Jul 2010


Hi Lily,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear that you have got the diagnosis we all dread, but I am glad to hear that you have dealt with your symptoms promptly. 

I am so sorry to hear that you feel that all is not ok despite have got the all clear. Can you tell us why you feel like this? I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 11 years and am currently undergoing tests for a third, so if I can help in any way, I am always here for you.

There are a number of people here in the same position as you and, I hope that some of them will be in touch shortly. Do you know what type of breast cancer you have and, how many lymph nodes are affected?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

3 posts since

23 Jan 2021

Good morning Hope you are well.

I know I’ve beaten the biggest battle and should be grateful but I just don’t feel like a woman anymore. I have no confidence at all at that all goes back to being a child I was bullied every school day from the age of 4 right up to bein 16. I’ve learned to deal with some stuff but not all. I want to be able to wear the clothes I like and feel confident in them and would like to meet someone one day that will love me for me x


5710 posts since

15 Jul 2010

Hi Lilly,

Did you have reconstruction, or have you any plans to have it later?

Losing a breast does shatter your self-confidence at first – I certainly felt this when I had a double mastectomy 11 years ago. Unfortunately, due to other medical problems I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction, but I manage well with an assortment of prostheses for different activities.

Like you, I was bullied unmercifully throughout all of my school days because I was very short-sighted and had a lazy eye. As a result, I had to wear NHS glasses with a crude brown leather patch over one eye. I agree that children can be very cruel and, I suffered dreadfully at their hands. However, I later discovered that a lot of your confidence comes from a belief in your own self-worth.

I can wear any clothes now, I swim, go to the gym, etc. I sometimes have to make a slight adjustment to some low-cut tops and dresses, but this is simple to do and, nobody would guess that I had undergone such drastic surgery.

When you meet the right person – and you will, they will love you for you and you alone. They will  accept you for who you are, not what you look like. Besides, if you’ve had or plan to have reconstruction, you will look pretty much as you did before. Looking at this in a more positive way. Your surgery has given you the chance to be here to meet Mr Right and you might not have had that chance if you hadn’t undergone this procedure. Your ‘battle scars’ are testament to what a strong woman you are to have come through so much in such a short time

It’s early days still, but you will find it so much easier to cope with if you try to find the positives in this, instead of thinking of the negatives.

Things will improve for you. Just give it time.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx


3 posts since

23 Jan 2021

Good morning 

Oh my I wish I could spell better

anyway here goes no I couldn’t have a reconstruction at the time coz I had Chemo first then the breast off and radiotherapy but they did say I could have it at a later date. But it scares me as though it’s a 10.50 hrs op and it puts me off. It’s not a quick fix.

How are you doing?

5710 posts since

15 Jul 2010


Hi Lilly,

Reconstruction is a lengthy operation, but still possibly worth it if you are so worried about your body image. You’ve got plenty of time to think about it.

I’m fine thanks. I’m just waiting for tests and the results of previous tests for a third bout, so will be glad when they’re all complete.

Are you taking any medication now or is that your treatment complete following radiotherapy?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

162 posts since

3 Jan 2020

Hello Jolamine,

just wanted to say I think you are a superstar for supporting so many people on this forum. 
You have had so many things to take on board yourself but remain positive and supportive. 

I wish you health and hope you have no further recurrences. 

All best wishes,


5710 posts since

15 Jul 2010


Hi Kebbs,

Thank you so much for your kind words. To be honest,helping others, plus seeing the strength of so many people on this site, has been a great help to me.

Kindest regards,

Jolamine xx


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