Can not get over losing wife from Cancer

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8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

It has been 4 months since losing my wife of 47 years and i still can not except it

and think about her night and day hoping i will see her walk back into my life, but i

know it is never going to happen. was with her all the time to her last breath, just 

not know were to turn. have also been to urology to have a camara into my bowel

8 weeks ago and again today and the red marks are still there so not booked into hospital

to have biopsy, 

42 posts since

25 Feb 2021

I am in my early 30s, lost my term partner to covid just underneath a year ago….in some ways I get you. This loss is like no other and this first year of birthdays, Christmas, new year etc has been the hardest thing Iv ever had to face without him. Somehow over the months Iv adapted to my different life, I n’t like it…I cry most days/nights but that’s ok. I still struggle to talk about things, I’m trying to focus on getting him a handcarved bench made and have it installed at our special spot so I can go there to remember him. I hope in time you will be able to remember the happy times you shared with your wife and smile, 47 absolutely beautiful years full of laughter, love and warmth. Your not alone, I’m happy for you to chat to me on here if you like 🙂 

Sorry to read your health hasn’t been too good, I hope you get on ok with your biopsy and the results are alright. Remember to take of yourself, have you got support with family/

8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

Hi thank you for your kind words, i find that when alone which is most of the days i just think

about her and look at her pictures i have put together on my computer, i go to her grave and

chat asking what i should and think of what answer she would give, known her since she way a teenager as she used to baby sit for 1 of my brothers.. 

In lockwn we extended our bungalow but now i just rattle in it i have my 12 year old grandson

living with me but when he is at school thats when i feel loneliness most, i have 2 children but there grown up and have there own children.They visit as much as they can but i can not stop them form having there own lives.

We moved from lonn to get away from the fast pace  after a year fighting to get our grandson and be his special guardien  we enjoyed holidays abroad and weekends away but now thats gone as i could not travel alone. i have not had any help and its like being left to sort and everything myself. not sure anything i have writen makes sence.

I think  that is a very nice thing to for your partner,  Thank you for offering me to chat to you very kind.  John 

 

42 posts since

25 Feb 2021

Your most welcome, what you wrote makes perfect sense. What I found isolating was not having anyone to chat to that had sadly experienced the loss of a partner…having that understanding and simply “getting it” makes the difference. It’s a position nobody wants to ever be in but sadly we all find ourselves in it at some point, being able to share how you feel with another person that can es help.

Happy What sort of things you enjoy ing? 

No problem John, anytime 🙂 

8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

My wife loved spring as well she loved ing the garden,my wifes grave is a half plot as she wished to be cremated so her ashes are there it never felt final as you say i can visit her anytime.

we traveled to many places, Australia, New zealand, singapore, fiji,Mexico x 4,Cuba x2, Jamacia x2,costa rica, spain,greece,portugal,gran canaria, minican republic x2,   we loved going away always ne caribbean in january for our anniversary and her birthday only a week apart.

Well as you can see i love traveling also walking, music,, cooking, D.I.Y  

So you had more sadness with not being to able to give him your Kidney and the ivf, 

My grandson is into gaming and he misses his grandmother and visits with me every time

but understands she has gone for ever, he even turned to me and said grandad i will sell my soul to the devil to get nan back that made my cry he is like me so caring and kind, if im honest he saved me from ing something silly. 

We take fuchsia flowers as she loved them and once the headstone is finisned and put in place we are going to t them and other ts she liked.

My grandson has a star names after him i will ask him if he would like to get one for his nan, yes i have heard of cruise was given a booklet by pilgrims hospice but never called as i was all over the place.

Thank you again and i hope im not troubling you to much.

john Happy

 

42 posts since

25 Feb 2021

You have been to some truly gorgeous countries, I went to Cuba about ten years ago and was honestly overwhelmed with how picture perfect/pristine the beaches are. I bet you have got some beautiful memories from your holidays. I also love and hoping to get a lorry licence this year (odd for a woman in her 30s right?) we went on some really nice country walks with our little g and enjoy taking her to the beach on a warm summers evening…she was like our child. She passed away a month after my partner but was 20 years old. Cooking Iv always enjoyed but in the form of baking Happy I also enjoy d.i.y as it’s something I grew up with.

I think that’s good for your grandson to visit his grandmothers grave with you, i hope you both find comfort in going together. Ah love his heart he sounds like a really kind big hearted person and a credit to you. 

I got a star naming kit brought for me for xmas years ago, I used it to name a star after my beloved cat. I have been considering getting my partners niece a star naming kit as she absolutely ared her uncle.

I found cruise during an online search when I was really struggling so I gave them a call but at that time there places were closed due to covid and they had a lengthy waiting list, so after a bit more searching I found wiwed and young. Have you thought anymore about contacting cruse? 

Holly

84 posts since

23 Jun 2020

Hi, 

Just read above post and i can to you both has im in the same situation. Im nearly 10 months in from losing my husband of 37 years and its still no easier. I live on my own now has my son and daughter have their own es and lifes. I have a 17 month old grandson and he keeps me occupied. We were together from teenagers and always did everything together, we loved holidays and was going to retire early so we could have many more . Its so cruel and i feel we have all been robbed of our loving partners. I find chatting on here is so helpful and hopefully covid restrictions been lifted will help too.

Take  

Debbie x

 

42 posts since

25 Feb 2021

Welcome to the chat Debbie and my most sincerest sympathies for the loss of your husband Sad

It is unfair and so hard to comprehend isn’t it? It’s hard to realise all the s that were excitedly and fully thought of, won’t be happening anymore. The deep sense of loss and missing them is also difficult to manage even on the good days. Have you found the grief comes in waves? I didn’t find this until I was about 6 months in, I felt in a very very dark lonely place in the early days and never ever thought I was going to get through. 

Holly x

84 posts since

23 Jun 2020

Hi, 

Its hard and cant say its easy living on your own, i hate it and evenings are the worst. I work 3 days aweek and have little one every Thursday so try and keep busy in the day.  It es come in waves you are right it seems to build up then i have a bad day. How far wn line are you Holly?

My daighter lives nearly a hour away but my son lives close by so see him often .

Debbie x

42 posts since

25 Feb 2021

The evenings for me were the worst too as it’s when we could finally relax after work or a hospital appointment and simply enjoy just being in each other’s company. In the first weeks, I found myself just staring into nothing alone, silent, no tv on…I couldn’t eat, sleep or think straight. I was in so much shock it was hard to function…I had to keep going as our little 20yr old g needed walking but without her I’m honestly not sure if I would of got past them days. She passed away a month later I’m suspecting from a broken heart as my partner got her at 8 weeks of age.

I know the first year is the hardest but I’m still not sure how life will move forward with me over the coming years, them 5 year and 10 year marks are also painful and ones which I can’t bear thinking of. It just feels so unfair that a truly beautiful soul that went through so so much his whole life yet wanted to keep going, has been taken in the cruelest way. He had a very rare condition and was given a life expectancy of just 4 years of age…..he was 3 months shy of his 41st. The condition he had would of given him until early 50s if he was lucky so we knew our time was precious, we never ever would of imagined it ended this much sooner. I miss my partner so much I feel like my hearts just shattered into a million tiny pieces and will never be fixed, he told me to mourn for a year then carry on but how can I? He was the most best part of my life and il be eternally grateful he spent the rest of his with me ❤️ It shouldn’t end this way for any one of us and I’m so sorry your walking this path too.

8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

Hi Debbie,

Im john and i to find it helps chatting on here but as you say the hurt es not go away

what you have writen is like my situation but i am lucky i have my grandson living with

me but when he goes back to school i feel lost on what to with myself.

but i hope something will happen so i nt get depressed and when restrictions are lifted

hope to find things to but i know it will never be the same.

John 

84 posts since

23 Jun 2020

Hi John, 

I also read that you are waiting for a biopsy which is all extra stress for you as if things aren’t bad enough. I wish you all the best and you get the all clear. I know ive found keeping busy as helped me, i work part time but when at e I set about painting house and going walks. Alot harder in lockwn to mix with people so very lonely. Have you retired or still working? I bet having your grandson live with you is lovely company for you and keeps you going.

Always here to chat  or DM me anytime. Ive made a few on here it as helped me alot. 

Take speak soon.

Debbie x

 

84 posts since

23 Jun 2020

Hi, 

It will be a year on 22nd June for me. I still cant beleive hes gone and feel like hes going to walk back in So strange. We buried my eldest sister yesterday she died of cancer too, its a cruel disease and takes people far too young. My husband battled oesophagus cancer for year before he died. He was fit and healthy,  worked as a builder and carried on working till starting Chemo which in its self was dreadful made him feel so ill. He was 57. Your poor partner was only 40 thats so sad. Lifes so cruel. Im too dreading the year anniversary coming up and all the milestones we have to get through its dreadful. People say to me your so strong but what option have we got other than to carry on. Its so final and the thought of not seeing them again es tear you apart. I still feel like running off its horrific. 

Im always here to chat, DM me anytime so we can chat private.

take  

Debbie x

8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

Hi Debbie,

Yes after going to hospital to urology to have a camara to show inside my bowel

2 months ago i was called back for another view of my bowel and the same red marks

are still there, so consultant told me he wants to a biopsy in 4 weeks, so until its ne

i have no idea what the out come will be.

i took early retirement to ripping my tenns and ligaments in my shoulders and had

to have operations on both but they could only 1 at the time as it takes upto 18 months

for each shoulder to heal so i had to leave my job as they held it open for a year but no er

which is understandable, i worked as a drayman for carlsburg uk.

Yes its really nice having my grandson here but when he is at school thats when i feel lonely

but when the better weather comes im going to refurb my 2 bathrooms and 2 of the bedrooms

I would like staying in touch what es DM mean i always thought it was PM like facebook for

private messageing, we live and   🙂 

Many thanks John 

 

8 posts since

8 Apr 2021

My wife was told she had aggressive in january last year and within 9 months she passed away, 10th November at e, It hit us both hard but over the few months we had together we ned everything from the funeral to her telling me not to alone and live my life,

she was a hard worker she worked in a hospital for 11 years then we moved to enjoy are lives and travel which we did but then we become special guardiens to our grandson due to his mother being an alcoholic and drug user so our son asked us to get guardienship as he said he was not able to look after him on his own we agreed and now grandson and his dad see each other and have a good life.

No my partner was not 40 we was married for nearly 42 years,we married at 18 we knew each other from teenagers but her father did not allow me to take her out until she was 16,

I brought a 6 people plot to bury her askes and am awaiting her headstone to be ne so i can feel at peace knowing i had ne all we arranged and agreed on.

i have calling asking if i need anything and my 2 kids come and see me but they both have partners and there lives to live, i will DM your thanks i so nice to chat to someone who has gone thought such sad times the same as me, it like part of a weight lifted off me.

Chat soon 

John  

 

Can not get over losing wife from Cancer


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Happiness is for those who plan well and pursue. A profound among us have been proven those who have true dream to live for likely REALIZED IT. It is just simply the person working toward the DREAM days and night until accomplishment. There is a phrase of efficiency a head of you. Steps and obstacles at first seem tremendous. However, just with some times those difficult steps and challenges are so easy performance for you. There are also plenty of tools including VISUALIZATIONS and helps are around you.

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