How Your Body Language Betrays You Every Day
On September 26, 1960 two men stepped into the CBS broadcast studio in downtown Chicago.
Both were aware that just by showing up for that night’s broadcast, they’d be making history.
Little did either man know exactly how much history would, in fact, be made.
When Senator John F. Kennedy and Vice President Richard Nixon took the debate stage that night the men represented starkly different ends of the political spectrum.
Kennedy prepared studiously in the weeks leading up to the debate.
Nixon was “campaign cramming” all the way up to the moment the cameras went live.
Once the broadcast aired, it was evident who looked more presidential.
Kennedy appeared rested, tan, composed, freshly-shaven, and healthy.
Nixon, by contrast, looked sickly, sweaty, and nervous.
He was campaigning hard in the weeks leading up to the debate, making up for lost time due to a knee injury.
Both candidates presented their points with presidential poise.
Despite his injury and the uncomfortable heat in the room, Nixon debated well.
Voters who tuned into the debate on the radio called it a draw.
Had the debate not been televised, Nixon might have had the advantage.
Unfortunately for Nixon, 70 million Americans watched the debate on television.
They saw a Vice President betrayed by his body language.
Nixon shifted his weight uncomfortable throughout the debate.
He repeatedly blotted sweat from his brow.
Nixon’s five o’clock shadow and refusal to wear makeup made him appear aged and rough in comparison to Kennedy’s handsome, TV-friendly looks.
When it was over, the first-ever televised presidential debate helped Kennedy win one of the closest presidential elections in American history.
Kennedy narrowly won the election with 49.7% of the popular vote.
Nixon received 49.5%.
Polls later revealed that watching the “Great Debate” influenced more than half of all voters.
In his book The Messy Middle tech founder and investor Scott Belsky doesn’t mince words about the impact our body language has on our lives.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735218072/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_OQ6MCbJZY4SSP
It’s not our words that reveal the answers to these questions.
Our body language speaks volumes.
If you’re not careful your involuntary behaviors will hold you back from opportunities, promotions, and new jobs.
Physical contact gives a strong first impression.
In a business setting, there’s a lot people can interpret from the quality of your handshake.
A limp handshake is a signal of timidity.
It should be firm (but not bone-crushing).
You want to come across as confident, not overbearing.
Reach your arm out half the distance to your new acquaintance.
Offer a friendly smile and maintain eye contact until the shake ends.
Stop doing it.
Crossed arms sends a signal of being closed off to what someone is saying.
It makes you appear defensive.
Do everything you can to maintain an open, engaged posture.
Keep your arms neutral at your side or relaxed at your hips.
If you have trouble breaking this habit try always carrying something like a notebook.
Carrying it will remind you to avoid defaulting into a closed off position.
This one’s a big problem for people.
If someone is speaking to you, maintain eye contact as much as possible.
Don’t stare through their soul like a hypnotist — brief breaks in your gaze are fine.
I tend to break eye contact when I need to contemplate something.
They see your eyes darting and it’s awkward.
Smile, engage the muscles in your face.
Raise your eyebrows a little or crack a smile; appear engaged and non-threatening or judgmental.
This will relax the person you’re speaking with and make them feel more comfortable having an open discussion with you.
Turn your body all the way toward a speaker to appear engaged.
Otherwise you risk looking like you’re only giving partial attention (because you are).
Holding our breath is a survival instinct that kicks in when we’re under stress.
With a little practice you can begin to notice if you’re taking calm, deep breaths or if you’re breathing in shallow, anxious air.
Sometimes we forget we’re in control of these functions.
Regulate it like it’s the gas pedal in your car so you can have a smoother trip.
Calm, natural breathing will grant you control of everything else you need to pay attention to in nervous situations.
As long as you’re breathing in a relaxed manner, you can control the rest of your behavior.
Focus on your body language in all situations.
You’ll also retain more information from the conversation by being engaged and open instead of constantly worrying about how you look or what your body language is saying.
How Your Body Language Betrays You Every Day
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