How to Set Boundaries in the Last Days of a Job
It’s important to realize that boundaries are just as important in your final days on the job as they are while gainfully employed by the company. The author offers six strategies for how to set limits around doing too much work when you have one foot out the door and how to navigate pitching in during the transition: 1) Adjust your mindset. 2) Strategize a plan to off-ramp. 3) Protect your time by memorializing everything. 4) Redirect or say no requests. 5) Take the opportunity to kickstart good habits. 6) Make a clean exit.
Leaving your current role for a new one is exciting. You’re hopeful about your next position and looking forward to a fresh start.
But for many professionals, the transition can also be filled with guilt. Many of my coaching clients feel bad for leaving their team “high and dry.” What will the company do without you? It’s normal to worry you’re letting people down by moving on. After all, no one likes to think they’re disappointing people they care about.
The guilt of leaving a job can be particularly acute for those who identify as sensitive strivers, meaning they think and feel more deeply. Sensitive strivers have more active mirror neurons — the empathy neuron — which means they sense and process the pain and upset of others with greater intensity.
To cope with feelings of discomfort, many sensitive strivers overcompensate by trying to do more than necessary in their final days. As a result, they end up overextending themselves — sometimes overpromising and under-delivering, which inadvertently leaves the team in a deeper lurch. On top of that, I’ve seen many professionals offer to help well past their end date, only to end up annoyed and resentful when requests from their prior employer hit their inbox.
As one quarter to more than half of employees get ready to switch jobs post-pandemic, it’s important to realize that boundaries are just as important in your final days on the job as they are while gainfully employed by the company. Here’s how to set limits around doing too much work when you have one foot out the door and how to navigate pitching in during the transition.
Your emotions influence your reactions, so get any misguided sense of guilt under control. High-achieving professionals, especially sensitive strivers, are built to aspire and evolve. See your transition as a natural step in your career progression, not an indictment on your dedication and character. You’re growing, not bailing.
Likewise, check your ego. Yes, you’re important to the company, but everything won’t fall apart without you. The team may experience some temporary setbacks, but they probably won’t be terminal or catastrophic. Besides, your exit could open up an opportunity for someone else to step into the role and shine.
Writing a note from your future self to your present self can also be a helpful exercise to let go of guilt. Your future self may reassure you that you’ve made the right decision, for example, or remind you that in a few months you’ll barely be able to recall the feelings controlling you in the moment.
From a practical perspective, take stock of the current projects on your plate. As soon as you know you’re leaving, determine the most important tasks to complete before you leave. Then work backwards from your last day to define milestones. You can’t accomplish everything in the time you have remaining, so prioritize impact and getting your work to a stable state where it can be taken over. This may mean scoping down the breadth or depth of certain deliverables to make them more achievable.
Create a plan for how and when you’ll notify different stakeholders of your exit, too. Getting specific ensures you don’t dawdle and avoid breaking the news out of fear. Work with your boss to determine who will assume your duties. Use your planning to also assess how much you’re able and willing to assist with the transition given your other priorities. It may not be reasonable or possible for you to be part of the interviews for the new hire, for example, if you have another time-sensitive, high-visibility project that demands completion before you go.
It’s best practice to offer to train your replacement but be smart and strategic about how you go about it so you don’t have to repeat yourself or duplicate effort. Specifically, create a transition plan that details your current projects, upcoming deadlines, and incumbent knowledge (client preferences or contact information, for example). Record videos that document processes and put aside time to write standard operating procedures for critical workflows. Memorializing your work will avoid excessive demands on your time down the road by giving your replacement a referenceable library of training material.
Even in your final days, colleagues may still come to you with new work to be done. When they do, don’t jump to complete the task simply to get it off your plate. Instead, offer to train them on how to complete it for themselves or coach them through how to perform a process. Not only does this set a boundary, it empowers your colleagues to take ownership and become more self-sufficient, which they’ll need to do in your absence.
There may be cases where you have to say no to a request altogether, such as by stating:
Don’t wait until your next role begins to implement healthy boundaries you’ve been meaning to start. You have a low-risk opportunity right now to practice putting them into place. After all, you can’t be fired anymore. Now is the time to build discipline around limits like ending work at a certain hour or not answering emails on weekends. That way, you can take your newfound confidence into your next position.
It’s wise to offer to stay in touch with your boss and colleagues but be careful not to make an open-ended invitation to consult or provide assistance beyond your final day at the company. Answering a question here-or-there is understandable. Pick a date (perhaps two to four weeks after your departure) by which you’ll no longer be available. If the questions continue past that time, you may have to send a final note explaining you won’t be responding in order to focus on your current role and wish them all the best.
Remember, setting boundaries in the last days of your job is an act of kindness and respect to yourself and others. Navigating the short-term discomfort of saying no and setting limits ensures you can exit with your integrity intact.
How to Set Boundaries in the Last Days of a Job
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