Coping after breast surgery
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10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi had breast surgery 6 weeks ago, feel down, breast doesn’t look the same, dent and scar, radiotherapy to start in 2 or 3 weeks where boob may shrink slightly. Feel alone and support dissappeared after I healed. Does anyone else feel the same, feel depressed as my partner decided to call it a day before my surgery. Maybe best to return to work soon as LOCKDOWN doesn’t help. Wanted to speak to other women who feel the same
147 posts since
3 Jan 2020
Hello Ria16,
so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the understandable sadness you are now feeling. It’s a perfectly normal reaction. You are going through a big trauma. On top of that your partner has left. No wonder you are feeling bewildered and sad.
This time last year I was in a similar boat. I had just had the tumour removed from my left breast. Afterwards it was considerably smaller than my right breast. I felt uncomfortable, tired and alone. (My husband was and remains a rock so I count myself very fortunate to have him of course) It was my experience that friends, whilst being very supportive initially soon forgot what I had (and was) going through. I think that’s about their own fears to be honest. The op is done, you don’t have cancer now. Let’s move on because it’s too scary to think about. Something like that anyway.
All I wanted to say was it WILL get better. It’s a slow process. I had x 15 radiotherapy sessions. It’s tiring sometimes but actually for me it wasn’t too bad. I hope you have a similar experience.
Ria it will take time to process this massive shock you have had. Gradually life becomes a bit less ‘grey’. The fear factor of “will it come back” raises its ugly head less often. You will find good people in surprising places. I know I did. Those who I thought would always be there for me sometimes weren’t. Those I had expected little from came good. Life is often a surprise.
Also this forum is a good support. It’s here to rant in. It’s here to find those who are going through what you are. Who honestly ‘get you’. I have found a lot of lovely people on here. It’s a godsend when you feel you are hitting a wall.
I send you of course many positive thoughts. Stay safe and well
Kebbs.
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi kebbs
Thanks nice to talk to someone who understands I know alot of people worse off than me. Just ex partner before surgery was not supptive, even said we all have problems don’t we, one friend similar too not supportive at all, I coped before well, had endless tests and biopsies, but know waiting for 15 sessions of radiotherapy which may shrink my left boob, did it change yours alot and make it smaller? Just I have not a bad set of boobs lol so feel they don’t look the same. Also did u stay off work while undergoing radiotherapy as my job is demanding and stressful. Did u have any other side effects from treatment? Just makes your confidence go down a bit.
I hope u have made a full recovery makes you appreciate life a bit more.
Thanks for replying I hope things are OK with you know.
Ria
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Stay safe and well too and I hope u ferl better now, I had cancer in 2 places on left breast, I know they can correct it if your not happy with boobs after.
Glad you have a good partner, makes all the difference.
Best wishes
Ria
147 posts since
3 Jan 2020
Hi Ria,
there are always people worse off than we are but it doesn’t detract from what you are going through right now. Cancer is scary. It knocks our world. Be kind to yourself.
The radiotherapy didn’t really ‘shrink’ my boob but it made it feel different in that it was ‘heavy’. Hard to explain but I became aware about 2 weeks after the treatment had finished that it had stiffened up a bit. I completed the radiotherapy at the end of February this year just before lock down started. So now I feel the stiffening has eased up and it’s more or less back to what it was. I was lucky that my skin didn’t burn either. By the time I was on my 12th session my breast had started to turn a dark pink so glad it was just near the end before it got any worse. What’s really important is to moisturise your boob. after every session and before going to bed. That helps keep your skin in good condition. Aveeno is good but I just used Nivea. That will protect your skin.
I have just had a breast reduction in my untreated breast because I was left lopsided!! (Understatement!!) Anyway I have healed well and feel as if I have more or less drawn a line under cancer. It takes a while.
With regard to work and treatment I was fortunate as I only worked part time but I mostly worked from home anyway so I did some when I could. Mostly I didn’t though. Not really because I was tired but more because my head was all over the place. If you can get a medical certificate whilst undergoing treatment I suggest you do if that’s what you would prefer. Many people just work through because it suits them. There’s not a right or wrong about it It’s just a personal decision. Anyway I suggest you do what feels right for you.
I am, after 12 months of thinking about cancer and trying to get myself in a positive frame of mind, more or less there now. I DO feel grateful to be healthy. I DO appreciate life. Think I always have but now it has an extra glow!! Being scared is a horrible place to go but time, a coffee with a good mate, a few tears and being extra careful with yourself. Eating well, walking and swimming has all helped my recovery. Sometimes I thought I was at my end. Dark days. Everyone has them. At least I am guessing they do. I did anyway. Now I see the light (!) and life is much more even, I am back in colour again!!
Wishing you all the luck in the world. Write me when ever.
Go well.
Kebbs x
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi kebbs
Thanks for the reply, I hope Yr boobs look better now, they wanted me to have breast reduction surgery but said there more scars and complications. Is it OK? As not sure what mine will look Like after radiotherapy. Did you see your surgeon again after radiotherapy. I think u get passed to another department. I think u have to have mammograms every 6 months after for 5 years. They gave me hormone anti ostrogen tablets but not took them as bad side effects, not at the menopause age yet. Have u took these?
Worse with this LOCKDOWN, can’t go on holiday really. I Hope u have made a full recovery now a d stay well.
Friends don’t always want to hear Yr problems I find, but family been good.
I think I return to work after treatment as hospital in Oldham is 30 mins away so take up Yr day.
You can message me whenever you like as it’s good to talk to other people.
I hope next year is better and we can all get on some good holidays.
Take care.
Ria
147 posts since
3 Jan 2020
Hi Ria,
yes my boobs look pretty well the best they have ever have as it goes!! A silver lining within the misery really!!
Well I guess every case is different but breast reduction for me when they took out the tumour was perfect. Now I have been ‘levelled up’ it’s a very fine job indeed. I have been very pleased with the outcome anyway. I think perhaps I was lucky but I didn’t have any complications either time whatsoever. Plus it’s all healed up very well.
I think it’s unlikely Radiotherapy will significantly alter your breast apart from perhaps stiffening it up a bit. Talk to the clinics nurses though they are SO knowledgable and so helpful.
After radiotherapy you normally see an oncologist. But if you have specific concerns and want to speak with the surgeon speak out. Hospitals will bend to patients but we need to be absolutely clear about what we want. I have found cancer clinics to be especially accommodating. However I know Covid will have inevitably taken its toll. That doesn’t mean they won’t be attentive or try and do their very best for you. It likely means though that waiting lists MAY be longer??
I have a mammogram every 12 months now for 5 years. Think that’s a national standard. It’s a good feelibg to get the first one done as I did in September and be clear!!
Well I am the last person to talk to about hormone tablets!!! I just didn’t cope with them at all. Have decided to stop and not restart them. They are not for me. As I said earlier. I eat well and exercise most days. Both make me feel good and do help a little towards keeping cancer free. Hormones only help a little too BUT DO talk to your oncologist about this. What I do isn’t really what you ‘ought’ to do!!!
Yes lockdown. Its horrible, especially as it’s now Winter. Can’t wait to holiday asap!!! Roll on the vaccine eh?? With good luck though you will be finished radiotherapy by the time the world opens up again. Yippee!!!
Glad you have a good family. It makes such a difference.
Go easy.
Kebbs.
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi kebbs
You must of had a big tumour. I have a dent in the top of my boob looks like a big dimple and scar under armpit, went in through my nipple but should hopefully fade. My boob is still hard in places not sure that will go, have to see.
You dont have bad scars from the breast reduction then? I see how it looks after treatment.
It sounds like we’re both younger cancer patients. Yeah I will look after myself too healthy diet and exercise.
I ignored my first mammogram invites so won’t do that again, got called early as my mum had it. I bet tablets give u hot flushes, not for me I think.
Yeah hopefully a few holidays next year and hopefully meet a better man who sticks around when you need them.
Your picture looks nice, where was u on holiday?
Yeah weather is yuk, glad to return to work in a way, any plans for holiday next year?
You can message me anytime good to share experiences.
Ria
147 posts since
3 Jan 2020
Hi Ria,
my tumour was just under an inch long. Not massive but not small. Thankfully I didn’t have any lymph node involvement. Nor needed chemo. I was grateful for that.
No the scars are not that awful and will fade. I am just so pleased with the end result. No I am not young!!! I am 68 but fit and still working when I want to. I feel SO well now although in all honesty I never actually felt ill. Did you??
Yes we all need a holiday! The photo by the way was taken in Corsica. Two years ago. We love it there. Hoping to go back in 2021, the vaccine allowing!!! I would also like to go to Malta. Never been but it just takes my fancy somehow. Where do you like to go to??
Hoping you do meet a better man who can stand by you when things get tough. It’s so cowardly to run out on you the way your ex did. It must have been such a shock right in the middle of a crisis. Just awful behaviour.
I think you can private message me on here but to be honest I haven’t a clue how that works?!!
sleep tight
Kebbs.
4477 posts since
11 May 2016
You are correct about being able to private message on the forum Kebb and you can find out how it works just here.
I hope this helps 
All the best,
Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator
132 posts since
10 Jun 2020
Hi. I get how you feel. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June and I’ve just finished chemo. I’m due surgery in January and I’m really grateful it can be done. But, I’m also feeling quite low because I know I’m going to be losing at least 1 breast. Its bound to have an impact on your mental health, it’s a big change. But in my area they’ve invited me to a ‘look good feel good’ workshop after. Maybe you could look into this or something similar and also support groups? But also be proud of how far you’ve come!
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi amy
I’m sorry to hear that, and I bet chemo is horrible. I think they can reconstruct your boob, have seen pics of this I know is still horrible though.
That’s good that your area does that, I hope you have alot of support and a good partner.
I was terrifed off surgery but the staff were lovely and you won’t know about it, the nurses are lovely, sorry no consolation, I hope it goes OK and u make a full recovery and stay well.
Ria
132 posts since
10 Jun 2020
Hi RIA. I’m seeing my surgeon tomorrow but he said right from the beginning that he doesn’t want to do a reconstruction straightaway. Its depressing but I’m willing to do whatever they advise. I’m lucky that I’ve got support too, I don’t think I could cope with all this on my own! Good luck with the rest of your journey
10 posts since
29 Nov 2020
Hi amy
And you too, it will work out in the end, they know what there doing. They probably do it when covoid is over.
Good luck with it all.
Ria
Coping after breast surgery
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