What should I do
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2 posts since
29 Sep 2020
Hi folks, I am not really expecting anyone to be able to solve my dilema, but sometimes it helps to talk to someone you have never met, so here is my problem, about 3 weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with meolethelina,he was hospitalised there and then which was a total shock, my sister and myself thought he had a chest infection or something and that the specialist would prescribe medication to make him better, then came the devestating news that dad had this incureable cancer and because of curent situations with covid, I am stuck with a majer problem, should I get the train from Scotland where I live to West Yorkshire where they live, where i could pick up and pass on the virus either from the supermarket I work in or on the train that I would need to get because my husband nor myself drive, or do I risk never seeing my dad to say goodbye, they can’t say how long or short he has, please someone help, what should I do?
177 posts since
17 Jun 2020
Hi
I’m in Scotland too and it’s a scary thing the viral numbers climbing.
Incurable doesn’t automatically mean that someone is going to pass away imminently which is why his doctors are reluctant to give a timescale.
Can you video chat with him?
The only thing I would say is whether or not you’re there at the very end, whenever that is, your dad will know he was loved. Yes he has cancer but if he had had a sudden accident and you weren’t there do you think you would then feel differently about it? Guilt can be a soul destroyer and certainly wouldn’t be the legacy your dad would want I’m sure. It’s a hard decision to make.
If it wasn’t breaking our guidance I would gladly offer to drive you if you were near Edinburgh.
Who knows where the Covid situation could go. What’s the numbers like in their area postcode compared to yours? There’s a page on BBC news where you can put postcodes in and it gives you the numbers.
In your work are you behind a screen, wearing a mask? Can you take two weeks off, basically self isolate without the virus, then travel? Seating on trains that I’ve been on have needed a reservation to ensure distancing.
I don’t have anything else to help you make your decision but I wish you strength to decide what is best for you and your family.
Lorraine
2 posts since
29 Sep 2020
Thank you for your kind words, they were very reasuring, my Dad dosen’t have any problem with the fact that I am 250 miles away, the problem I have is I already feel guilty that I came to Fife to my then boyfriends on holiday in 1991, after a year of seeing each other and I never returned to my home in west yorkshire, but then all concerned were 29 years younger and you don’t think there may be a problem further down the line, I am just so unsure of what to do for the best, not the best for me, this isn’t about me and what I want, it is what is best for my dad, he is a very proud and private man, but I so desperatly want to see him and for him to know I love him with all my heart.
177 posts since
17 Jun 2020
Can your sister help you decide? Does she drive?
Someone may be able to offer you more help in the morning. I know what I would do but it really needs to be a decision that you arrive at. I hope you are able to do that before more lockdowns happen and it’s then out of your control.
What should I do
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