You Deserve Soft Towels
One of the first indulgent purchases I made once I began earning more money with my writing was towels. Lots of beautiful, soft, and comfortable towels for the upstairs bath and downstairs half-bathroom. I am convinced that you can’t have too many towels, especially if you’ve got children.
I’ve learned that the hard way… like by not having enough towels when my daughter first caught a stomach bug that made her puke every 20 minutes. Or last year, when our toilet overflowed because some neighbor kids plugged up the outdoor pumps with sticks and stones.
Having plenty of extra towels on hand is a wonderful feeling. They make great makeshift blankets when your kid is sick, but they’re much easier to clean up and clean up well. Last year, I had to deal with puke- or sewage-soaked blankets. This year? I am plush with clean towels. If there’s another disaster, I’m ready.
Of course, I didn’t go too crazy. I bought the towels from Target because I’m no real high roller, but I did come back twice for more towels in more colors.
All in all, I bought 30 towels, mostly hand towels and bath sheets. And you know what? I love them. I might even buy a few more of the bath sheets because I love that dark peachy color so much.
Every single time I use one of these towels, I notice the softness. And I think about how hard I worked to buy the darn things.
It just feels good.
In case you missed it, I was raised in a single mother home. We lived on Welfare, food stamps, medical assistance, and subsidized housing. I never saw my mom work a job beyond selling holiday treats at bake sales. And I never saw her achieve or even set any long-term goals.
Looking back on my childhood and looking at my mother today, I’d say she suffers from a poverty mindset, aka the scarcity mentality. And it’s awkward, because that’s something I’m trying to overcome.
When you grow up too poor to afford your necessities, you get used to making uncomfortable choices. Going without everything you need. Splurging even, but typically on short-term things.
The whole poverty mindset makes it difficult to exercise the discipline it takes to achieve any long-term goals. Who can even picture the long haul when every day is filled with immediate needs and short-term choices?
A life focused on mere survival naturally relies upon simple coping mechanisms to pass time and “get by.” Which makes it even harder to plan for the future. For far too many poor people, the future is too murky to imagine.
Over the past year, I have moved pretty quickly from never having enough to keeping a legit savings account. It’s a little weird. My daughter and I still don’t have everything we need, but we’re certainly getting there. I’m building up my savings account with the goal to cover taxes, get a Kia Soul, and build my emergency fund.
And I’m allowing for certain indulgences too.
A while back, I wrote about investing in new clothes and how I was researching shoes that would work with my chronic plantar fasciitis. I finally settled on getting some Tieks, and I now wear them every single day. I love them too.
Does it feel extravagant to own an expensive pair of shoes? Yes, no question. It’s easy to justify spending money on anything my daughter needs. But it’s different when I’m shopping for myself.
I’ve got a knee-jerk reaction to spending money that says I deserve to stay poor. And a knee-jerk reaction that says I must not be a truly responsible person if I buy luxurious things.
Like soft and pretty bath towels or designer shoes. Or even relaxing bath salts and quality skincare products.
For the first time since becoming a mom, I am learning how to appreciate self-care in the form of little luxuries.
To be fair, most self-care has nothing to do with luxury at all. Most of it is pretty damn boring. Creating healthy emotional boundaries, eating less sugar, and getting more sleep. Turning off your cell phone instead of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook.
Self-care for formerly-poor-but-not-officially-rich people is awkward and messy. That’s what I’m finding out anyway. The income is unsteady and you’re not quite sure where you’ll end up at the end of the year.
You might feel guilty.
And strangers might make you feel as if you’re supposed to prove you’re not squandering your newfound cash reserve. Even when you know you’re not. Other strangers might try to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong to earn more money after living most of your life poor.
Some folks will judge your mental health issues. Shouldn’t you be further along by now? As if money fixes everything.
Poor is a lot like being fat. Everyone has an opinion about how you got there. And then they have an opinion about you if you bother to do something about it.
But let’s be honest. You’re the only person who has to live your life, so you can’t live it to please anybody else.
So work hard. Work like crazy if you have to just to reach your goals. But don’t forget to treat yourself to the occasional indulgence every once in a while too because you do deserve soft towels and comfy shoes.
Or you know, whatever makes you feel really damn good.
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You Deserve Soft Towels
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