The Importance of Spending a Day in your Pants
It’s fair to say that I’ve started 2019 all guns blazing. With three new jobs in addition to my own storytelling projects, it’s been a steep learning curve. An apparently necessary response to a 2018 that didn’t fulfil its promise, and unfilled my bank account.
This year has morning routines, evening routines, clear goals, and inspirational audio to hone my focus. A gym membership that actually gets utilised and accountability partners. A tangible sense of possibility and things are surely moving.
My frame of mind, quality of delivery and carrying capacity have all increased. In February I performed possibly my best gig yet, taking my storytelling show on its first international outing in Berlin. Opportunities scheduled later in the year are exciting, aligned with my core values, and a pleasant stretch on my current situation.
All good so far.
More or less.
Last Saturday saw me celebrate my 35th birthday, although to be honest I barely had the energy to simply not be miserable.
Straight off the back of a five-day storytelling workshop in Manchester, itself the culmination of a three week period with no days off, I did my best not to feel depressed at the birthday brunch with my delightful daughter and friends. It took huge effort to lift myself and appreciate the gorgeous meal my patiently attentive romantic partner treated me to, and to remind myself how to be a gregarious host for the evening party.
Sunday I went to a workshop I’d already committed to. I noticed my eye beginning to swell and get uncomfortable.
Monday, whilst working with children in the woods I was googling what the hell was going on with my inflamed and painful eye.
Tuesday, my patience for being talked over by 22 excited children was considerably less than usual. My daughter tenderly made me tea and medicines for my sty-inflicted eye in the evening.
On Wednesday, the idea of coordinating large groups of rowdy children into something resembling learning or coordinated fun sent me back to bed. Eye swollen and painful, the tank on empty, tail between my legs. I admitted defeat, and unnerving mortality. Promising not to even consider any projects, check emails or social media for the day, I sought the haven of my bedroom. Hardly the domain of champions. A day of retreat was all I could muster, and in hindsight, I’m grateful for it.
It felt a bit pathetic. Like I’d let myself down in some way, but as the day went on it became clearer that the primary indulgence would be to ignore what was happening. My body was literally calling out for me to stem the energetic decline, recuperate, and better manage myself in future.
A day in bed, riffing “I shot the sheriff” on Ukulele, using my good eye to read a folksy novel set in 19th century Ireland, (“The Good People” by Hannah Kent, highly recommended btw) and catching up on episode 3 of American Gods, proved effective medicine. By the evening, I had the energy to sort out my living space which had slid with my busyness in recent weeks. All books back on the shelf, clothes washed, nooks and crannies swept. A small corner turned.
Now, to be honest, the program that I’ve been following this year (Benjamin Hardy’s Accelerated Momentum Program) is very explicit about building in recovery time. Sprint, then rest. And as a professional storyteller and educator, it’s not as if I’m doing back-breaking work each day. My work is fun and rewarding. I’m passionate about what I do. Too passionate maybe. And therein is the seductive nature of doing what we love, and not knowing when to pause, say no, or resist mixing downtime with creative projects.
As I muse upon how to learn and do things better, it dawns on me that a day at home in your pants with no discernible objective or outcomes is truly a wonderful thing. But really, I want to be free to make such choices, not be forced through exhaustion and physical malfunction.
I am determined to make great things happen this year. To connect, share stories, entertain and even inspire. I want to do a lot, but I also want my eye to go back to how it was last week, with additional twinkle if possible. As usual, its a question of balance, and learning from the particular medicinal experiences we get prescribed. That’s what the wily old Taoists would say anyway, and usually, they aren’t far from the clever money.
Pondering this scenario, I can track ways to do things better, several tendencies to be aware of and counteractions to commit to. It’s possible they may be of relevance to others too.
Blind-side 1: Forgetting the Essential
Listening to Essentialism by Greg Mckeown at the end of last year, I was blown away by the persuasive case for only doing, “what is essential”. Not being distracted by people pleasing or time wasting on activities of dubious merit. Having finally whittled down my key goals to a reasonable number, I started the year primed for decisive, purposeful action, using my time to best effect.
In reality, I’ve committed massive amounts of energy to work that’s only partially fulfilling, requires lots of preparation and is stressful. I’ve said yes to random story-related activities that aren’t important and some last minute gigs that are high stress and low pay. It’s not sustainable, enjoyable or profitable. I’m reminded to commit to what I already know but have easily forgotten.
Commitment 1
I cut back inefficient work right now, take appropriate risk and invest time effectively into core projects that matter. I instigate the projects that serve me and the world around me best.
Bind-side 2: Trying to get “somewhere” (in a slightly desperate fashion)
Vision and potential are great things. But unchecked they easily drag me from the present and leave me yearning for what is yet to be. Dissatisfied with where and who I am now. I’m pretty sure I remember, from the days when I paid attention to such things, every spiritual teacher worth their salt advising exactly the opposite. Time for a bit of mindful awareness and deeper connection? Surely it wouldn’t hurt.
I have a beautiful family, great friends that I appreciate nowhere near often enough. I make a livelihood telling wonder tales and teaching kids through cool outdoor games. A wee moments appreciation likely wouldn’t go amiss amidst the slightly obsessive mission of creating a connected world of wonderment through the sharing of quality stories and natural adventure.
Commitment 2
I take time to be grateful, enjoy what I have and who I am. I allow time for super-focused mission sessions and schedule mission-free time to relax.
Blind Side 3: I forgot about Joy
This one is criminal according to my own values. Whilst I surely laugh, play and share little touches of everyday magic as much as anyone masquerading as an adult can get away with, something struck me last week as I witnessed my friend practising ukulele. She was so happy. And dedicated to this joyful activity.
Somehow, in recent years I’ve let many things that simply bring me joy dwindle in my life. Music is one of them. Unthinkable to my younger self. I’ve also let almost everything that isn’t of direct function in my big picture mission slide. It’s not fun. there’s a big gaping hole where simple, deep, unbridled pleasure is meant to be. There is much to be happy about if only we make time for it.
Commitment 3
I allow Joy for joy’s sake. I create time for activities, people and places that delight me and have nothing to do with my work, projects or mission.
That’ll do for now. Before this list, and article begins to feel like work, I’m going to finish it.
I’m interested to hear any comments that relate to the above and hope that the rest of 2019 is filled with contentment, joy, sweet moments of gratitude. May we each effectively select the pursuits that help accomplish the big dreams, as well as enjoying the wee moments (aka the present) in the meantime.
Hopefully, if you find yourself descending down the spiral of exhaustion you catch yourself early enough to avoid minor physical ailments, but if in any doubt at all, try a day at home in your pants. I’m sure you’ll agree it works wonders.
If you’d like to receive my free “5 Keys for Connected Storytelling” resource, email me at dougie.storyconnection@gmail.com
The Importance of Spending a Day in your Pants
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